Dealing with Anger
Hostility Accomplishes Nothing and Can Harm Your Health
Bottling up your anger and letting it out is equally detrimental. By recognizing the key triggers you can dissolve these negative emotions in your daily life.
It's not easy for some people to keep their cool these days. Nerves are fraying and tempers are much shorter than they used to be. Why do they lose their composure so easily? One possible explanation points to the rise of technology. Their lives are much easier and they have advantages that previous generations didn't possess, especially computers and wireless phones. As a result of having these gadgets at their disposal, expectations are much higher. They want instant access to information, and they want it right now. When the machines on which their lives depend break down or work slower than usual, some folks can and do really fly off the handle.
There are many other factors that can make you angry, but rather than delve into the specific causes, this article looks at how it can negatively influence your life and how to reverse its effects.
What Triggers Anger?
- When you expect to be treated fairly and reasonably by everyone you come into contact with, and it doesn't happen.
- Not getting what you want from other people, especially when you feel the request is justified.
- Believing there will always be justice in the world, and when you don't receive it the anger you feel can be extreme.
Basically, this is what it boils down to. You might try to pin the source of your anger on others when they don't dance to your tune, or in other words, don't conform to your standards of behaviour. Think about this, do you really have the right to try and change somebody else? Of course not! Expecting an individual or the world to operate by just one set of rules, your own rules, has never and will never happen. Even those close to you, family members included, will not always comply with your demands either and this can make you especially irritable. If you can accept this, trying to place a justified and rational stamp on anger will stop, and this is a very important step.
Consider the Consequences of Being Angry
Keeping anger inside won't help, and neither will exploding with frustration. Anger can lead to depression, high blood pressure and heart disease. More serious problems like alcoholism and drug abuse might follow. Fortunately for you and everybody else there is a third option, and that is not to get angry in the first place.
It's easier than you think. Make a list of the things that trigger your anger, and then ask yourself how it affects you, your relationships and above all, your health. It takes an enormous toll on your mental and physical well-being when you become angry. Your self-esteem nosedives, and your colleagues and relatives will be noticeably on their guard because they don't know when the next outburst will occur. One by one, deactivate these triggers by deciding to stay happy rather than recalling an unpleasant event over and over again.
Relaxation Techniques
Former U.S. President Thomas Jefferson once said, "When I get angry I count to ten, and when I get really angry I count to one hundred." Developing your awareness is important, but learning to relax can go a long way towards lessening the severity of hostile emotions.
Concentrate on your breathing. Inhale slowly over a 10-second period, filling your lungs from the bottom to the top. Then exhale within the same amount of time. You can also try to envision a vacation in the past which was particularly enjoyable and peaceful. Would you like to go back there once again? Each time you feel like you're about to blow your stack return to that place in your mind.
A Matter of Perspective
Life is 10% about what happens to you and 90% about how you deal with it. It's tough to accept this kind of thinking but it's true. When somebody treats you rudely and they get away with it, the urge to give them a piece of your mind can be overwhelming but you musn't think like a victim. Take responsibility for your situation and refuse to be under somebody else's control.
You can also enroll in an anger management class or seek out some other form of professional therapy. You'll be glad you did.
